The most important assessment that a therapist has to make is to do with the clients level of maturity and hence their ability to discuss their difficulties. The normal balance of counselling interaction which is appropriate for adults may not be appropriate for young people. Young people need help in gaining the confidence required to relate to a therapist and in getting the confidence to speak and describe what they are experiencing. Many children are initially very quiet in what is a very novel situation for them. The experienced therapist can use a wide range of tools to help overcome the initial reluctance to talk.

It is also very important for the counsellor to be clear who the client is. Is it the parent that is the client or is it the child? Whilst on one level it is clear that it is the parents that are the clients. It is the parent who has made the referral very often and it is the parent who is paying for the sessions. However, it is essential that the child or young person wants to come for help. As such, it is essential to respect the young person as the client and to respect their choices to come or not come for sessions. The ideal situation is one in which the child becomes the client and the level of confidentiality is maintained between the therapist and the child, with minimum necessary feedback being given to the parents. It is also essential that appropriate guidance is given to the parents as to how to ease the child’s situation and to make things easier or better. It is important for the parent to realise that they are not going to get a blow by blow report of the conversations between the child and the therapist.

In most circumstances I would begin the series of sessions with a short joint meeting with the lead parent and the young person. It is important that I hear the problem stated in a way in which both the parent and the young person can accept. After 15 minutes or so I can usually tell whether the young person is sufficiently mature to work on their own.

There are a whole range of responses which may be appropriate and the parent can on occasions stay with their child all the time. It has to be a shared decision as to what the most appropriate arrangement should be. This may well change as the sessions progress from week to week.

I have experience in working with pupils in schools and have worked as an educational psychologist for 20 years. I have recent experience in counselling young people at the Bath charity Off The Record.

The counsellor’s most valuable contribution to helping the child is in providing a safe situation in which they can feel heard and know that their thoughts ideas and feeling are respected. The child’s confidence will grow when this happens and so they are able to find the resources to solve some of their difficulties and are able to move forward.